This wkd's Idevelop program was challenging for two different reasons. Saturday was physically taxing. But today was mentally hard.
Here i am sitting on an early train home from Glasgow. Not how i wanted today to go. This was only my 2nd wkd with the sc idevelop program and it's ended badly.
Saturday was a great day! Even though physically it was very demanding it was possibly my best ever on the bike. We did a 4 hour road ride with very hard team time trial efforts, and some very fast and hard chainganging. My legs were amazing, and i was going well the entire day. I was proving myself well against the other juniors and showing to myself that i can do it. "Keep training and recovering hard and you can get fitter and stronger". On our ride back we climbed up over Eaglesham moor, a steep long beast of a climb not much over 15 miles out of glasgow. That was good fun! We raced each other up it, us girls with a head start and managing to hold off some of the boys. It was a very exciting day on the bike and my legs felt strong and my cadence had improved massively. There was one point when everyone was pushing hard in the chaingang in their big rings and i was still in my little ring cruising at 108rpm, i was looking down at their bikes like "did i miss an instruction? Were we told big ring for strength training!? Nope. Phew! It's always good when you know you are progressing especially just a few months out from race season!
However, an amazing day can so easily be ruined in 24hrs. I was up and ready to go this morning. Having a big porridge to fuel for another 3hours of hard team time trialling and chainganging. Unfortunately, i cam over quite dizzy, with stomach pains. I felt very nauseaus and couldn't eat anything else. Every time i stood up the room started spinning. I was so determined not to miss the training so i went through to the velodrome to see if it passed. But it grew worse as the morning went on so i thought i'll just sit and close my eyes see if i feel better in a few hours so i can ride on the track. I really need more time on the track and am desperate to get sessions on it. No chance! I hardly left the bathrooms as i felt so sick. I heard the squad return from the road ride and i was immediately disheartened! No way was i ready for track, i couldn't eat a thing there was nothing to train on. That was it. Agreed with the coaching team, i got an early train to return home and hopefully get rid of this virus. I hope it will pass quickly so it doesn't effect any more of my training, or racing season which is rapidly approaching!!
I am now trying my best to be a really positive person but it's not going well. I am always really bad at dealing with missed training sessions due to illness or whatever but this being one of the few scottish cycling sessions i could get to ending early - I am devastated! How can an incredible day (one of the best days ever) be followed by one of the worst days ever!?? This is why sport is so tough. You have to take the good with the bad, chin up, mind focused and drive forwards. Mental challenges like this are one of the hardest things to survive through in cycling especially when you want it as much as i do!
Thanks for reading! :-) Sorry it's not a positive post, but hopefully the next will be better!
