Every road has its obstacles that threaten to hold you back. This year has only been one small part of this journey but the obstacles that have presented themselves were harder to overcome than I ever imagined and seemed endless to me until now. I have made some difficult life choices this year after fighting some physical issues and head space but now the clouds have parted and I feel I am now in a position where I can put my sole focus on racing my bike to the best of my ability and loving every second of it.
In January I raced at Manchester Velodrome and had a blast racing against some international competition and meeting some of my Torelli team mates. It was such a fun night of racing and is one of my favorite days of racing ever. It was hard to drag myself away and come home. I really loved it and learnt a lot from racing at such a high level. I left Manchester feeling incredibly excited for the season ahead and ready to build on the experience.
Through the rest of the winter I did a couple of track league evenings at Glasgow velodrome but spent most of the time on the turbo or getting in miles on the road in between lectures and studying. I went to Portugal in March for a team training camp and some racing and I learnt some serious lessons there about food, prep for racing, recovery and most importantly; if you want to be a good team member you can't neglect yourself in an attempt to help others. Unfortunately though on arriving home the stress of keeping up with my studies and cycling, had a negative effect on my health. My sleep suffered for this and in turn meant my training and racing took a bit of a slump for a while.
I had a positive discussion with my coach and manager and made the decision to take a break from racing abroad and focus on racing in Scotland again to try and get some results to give me some confidence back. This really helped me refocus and with the help of a nutritionist who was now on aboard I found some good form in late April/May and had my first wins and podiums in over a year so I was completely buzzing. This not only gave me my confidence back but brought with it that burning desire to race more and more and not worry so much about the stress of student life.
I got my best ever result in a senior road race in May on a tough hilly circuit and I was delighted with that. It really helped boost my confidence but unfortunately this was also the beginning of the most stressful period for my course work and I was struggling significantly to manage my time. I ended up working myself into the ground and picked up a sickness bug. It took a few weeks to get any kind of strength back especially as I didn't wait around to recover long enough. I jumped back into racing at the Scottish 25TT Champs after a week of sickness and barely any food. I started off going pretty well. I got to the turn with a time that would have put me roughly 40 seconds off my PB so I was feeling fairly confident and knew I just needed to pick up the pace a little more and I could better myself from the year before. However, I started losing my vision as the road ahead looked blurry and I felt violently sick again. I felt myself weaving into the verge a lot and around 8 miles to go I felt myself blacking out entirely. I managed to throw myself into the grass at the side of the road and dropped my head down and closed my eyes for several moments. I was very shaky but took some deep breaths. The rain was pounding down and for early summer it was still very cold. After five or ten minutes I stood up and very carefully climbed onto the bike and slowly rode back to the finish shivering and feeling completely nauseous. Thankfully the wonderful organisers, helpers and medics at the race helped me warm up and make sure I was healthy again after the finish. It was a stupid decision to race and meant it took me several days longer to recover by risking my health just to race when my body was telling me it wasn't ready. A valuable lesson that will definitely stay with me.
Once I got healthy again I took a few weeks out of racing to focus on training and studying. I had been trying too hard to do my best to prove to myself that I was capable of studying and getting a degree while also achieving my goals on the bike too but in doing so I was putting unnecessary pressure on myself. At the end of June I completed my 2nd year of studying and came away with a HND. I was happy of course but relieved more than anything. I was finished with studying for the summer and could just focus on racing my bike again until my hearts content; or so I hoped.
Before I started my summer racing campaign I took part in the Women's Tour of Scotland promotion and recce day which was amazing. In true Scottish fashion the weather lived up to expectation and poured down almost all day, but it didn't dampen our spirits. It was a day of riding our bikes, talking about racing and getting excited for the Women's Tour of Scotland. I don't really enjoy being on camera but I was proud to be out there representing my team and talking about cycling. I was very nervous prior to it but really settled into it when I realised we all had so much in common and everyone was there because they love cycling too and wanted to promote women in sport which was really special and I was so happy to be a part of such an incredible event.
The following weeks I spent racing at home in the North of Scotland and I managed to get myself a few wins. My form was finally getting somewhere after dealing with my nutrition, health and recovering from an injury sustained in a crash last year I was spending hours on the bike. However, my head still wasn't in a good place and my sleeping pattern was still really irregular which meant I eventually got ill again so I took a break from racing to take the pressure off myself. I had to step away and focus on training and racing because I love it and because I want to rather than because people expect me to or want me to. It did me the world of good and I was ready and excited for my main goal of the year the Scottish Road Race Champs.
However, the day before the Scottish road champs I managed to pull a muscle in my leg. It was only twinging slightly but enough for me to notice and grow concerned. I stretched and rested up hoping it would be ok the next day. Of course, being my kind of luck this season I woke up with the pain still prominent in my leg and while frustrating I hoped it would only effect me when walking and driving and I might get away with it on the bike. However, my race ended early in bitter disappointment again as the pain grew worse with each mile before I eventually climbed off realising that I maybe doing more damage than good.
I took a few days off the bike after that to heal my leg and make sure I was properly over it before rushing back to racing and it also gave my head a good break as I was so frustrated and upset that my season goal was a complete wipe out because of another spot of bad luck. This also gave me the time to deal with a personal emotional crisis i was dealing with on my own - I made the decision to cease studying for the time being and start work instead so that I can focus on racing my bike again without the added pressures of being a student.
I hoped to get well and start racing again quickly but this decision, while it had been made, was not easily achieved. I applied for a job at Inverness which required a HND and a passion for cycling. I got interviewed and a few days later I was offered the job. The job role was essentially promoting cycling in the area. It was a dream job for a lover of cycling but was it really where I wanted to be? I turned it down. My dream is racing my bike and to me coming home to the North would be a step backwards. I'd rather do a job I might not enjoy so much and give myself the absolute best chance of achieving my ambitions by being in the central belt near the velodrome and closer to where most of the racing action happens than have a job which I would probably enjoy but may regret if it held me back. Racing my bike and trying to achieve my ambitions I have set up for myself is my upmost priority and I am happy with my choice. I have since picked up a job in a shop part time in Stirling which will cover my living costs and allow me to now focus entirely on the track for the winter and building for next season. I'm really excited for the winter ahead now.
Reflecting on this year is a very strange yet satisfying feeling. It's been a bit of a blur for me since the first half of the year I was trying to race and train through a stressful period of studying for a higher qualification and lately I have been working hard to find a job. For me it's felt like a very long hard struggle but now I am starting work on Thursday and am excited by the knowledge that nothing else is going to matter now, I have no added pressures, it's just me and my bike again. Results wise this year has already been a great improvement on the previous season. The decision to race more in Scotland was a good idea and I managed to get some decent results over the spring which have given me some much needed confidence going forward.
I must apologize for being so quiet in recent months. I have been coming to terms with some big life changes this year and have been struggling to balance my work load. This is the first time in a year where my head has felt clear and I can write down these feelings. It's taken me a while to adjust to everything and find my way again but now I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted and I can breathe on my own terms again. I have just been home for a wee holiday to see my family again before I start working which was a great break for me after such a challenging few months. I'm incredibly excited for track season to start next week (ask any of my family and they'll tell you, I've not shut up about it all week! :-) ) and I'm looking forward to the months ahead of racing. I'm sure the challenges this year will all be worth it now my life is all about the racing again! I'm so happy and excited!!!!
Thank you to all my sponsors Main Motors, Springfield Properties, Central Investment, Wired Orthodontics and The Realising Dreams Foundation for their support this year through all the highs and lows and keeping me racing through it all.
And I want to thank specifically 3 people who have encouraged me, looked out for me, supported me and have always been there for me despite some deep disappointments this year. They have been the constant driving force behind me when I've needed it most and I owe them the world. When you're having a difficult time and you can't see that light at the end of the tunnel you really discover who actually believes in you and who has your back no matter what and they are the people who help you face the challenges and give you your strength back even when it seems a million miles away. My head is in a better place than it has been in over a year now and I hope I can use that to fuel my coming races and will hopefully take the lessons learned from this year with me into the future.
If you're here reading this, thank you for checking in and for continuing to support me and show interest in my journey. I love racing my bike more than anything and I'm so glad to have found my happy place now where I have the confidence to follow my dreams again. Never give up, trust your instincts and no matter where the road takes you do what you can to make sure you're happy and doing what you love most. Use what you can around you to make yourself better, learn from mistakes, don't let others knock you down and never lose sight of why your doing it.
Thank you,
Georgia X
